No wonder the kids can’t spell!!

kids, school
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It brought home to me how little hope there is for the little ones in being literate and grammatically correct when I saw a spelling list provided by school – have a look and note the corrections provided by the teacher.

Toothbush for the cavemem?

Toothbush for the cavemem?

I also like the way that correctly spelled ‘spring’ has been marked as incorrect!!

Zoz burger, anyone?

food, kids
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So it’s that time of year. The birthday stretch begins with LB’s (little Betts) birthday in just over a week and this year he has opted for a laser quest party. Easy on the stress levels (one day when I have recovered, I’ll post about the parties I have organised in the past…), less easy on the bank balance.

Anyway, the pre-printed reply slips have been returned (long gone are the days when I spent hours handcrafting invitations) and LB was studying them to see who was having which hideously unhealthy food option. I became slightly puzzled when I overheard him muttering about another guest having a zoz burger.

‘What’s a zoz burger?’, I asked.

‘It says it here on the menu, Mum……but what IS a zoz burger?’

See for yourself. LOL!

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Back to school before they’ve even broken up

kids, school
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Any parent of school age children knows that before they have even broken up, the shops are ramming ‘Back to School’ stuff down our throats – a bit like being able to buy Cadbury’s Creme Eggs once the Christmas cards have been removed from the shelves.

If you’ve done this before, you’ll know all the tips and tricks, but if you will be drying your eyes for the first time come September when your little one suddenly seems to have aged several years, then here are some things you will need to know:-

  • Don’t leave it till the end of the summer hols to buy uniform because you think they will have grown out of it!
  • Buy it now when the shops have all the offers on and you can get what you want
  • Don’t buy it too big with ‘room for growth’ – particularly if you have boys
  • Buy the size they need now and the next size (or two) up – they will have worn holes in it long before it actually fits them if it’s too big to start with
  • Make sure you have some bigger sized uniform as it’s very difficult to get hold of (and much more expensive) mid school year if you didn’t plan ahead at the start
  • Forget expensive name tapes – buy some Sharpies and write their name in EVERYTHING!
  • Make shoes the last thing you buy, but don’t leave it too late or there will be no choice (mind you, that’s not always a bad thing!)

Oh and if you’re that way inclined, don’t forget the tissues in September!

viagra

Provigrax bottle

Misheard lyrics

kids
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You can always rely on the children to brighten up a dull day. No. 1 son has been learning about Joseph viagra his brothers at school and shown a particular interest in it, largely I think due to the fact that his name features (for once!).

If I’m honest, it’s where I got the idea for his name as I was once one of the brothers at secondary school (the fourth oldest as I had the fourth deepest voice!). Anyway, once you’ve sung it, you never forget the words. Especially not if you went to Sing-a-long-a-Joseph last year…..

So  there’s a song which goes something like this (and feel free to join in, with your best Caribbean accent…) ‘Benjamin is honest as coconuts’….which I heard the boys singing as ‘Benjamin is on his Dad’s coconuts’!

Olympic champions

Crafty, kids, let's pretend
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We’ve got olympic fever. Team GB are doing so well, I think it’s great for the children to get caught up in the patriotism and enjoy good, competitive sport (rather than the politically correct non-competitive nonsense).

Mind you, having just learnt to cycle, it’s quite difficult trying to explain to no.1 son why the sprint cyclists seem to want to go amazingly slow…

Nonetheless, I thought we ought to start early for 2012 by having our own home grown gold medallists.

We were sorting out school clothes (as I’ve learnt from last year not to leave it till the last minute) and found that the polo shirts that seemed to be enormous 12 months ago, are somewhat ‘skinny fit’ now, but were too good to simply throw straight in the bin. So with the help of my Sharpies, and a bit of imagination, I created these:-
olympic medal shirt olympic shirt back
Everyone’s a winner!

Arava

It’s a Perler

Crafty, kids
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Are your little ones fans of those irritating beads that get knocked onto the floor and take hours to pick up? The ones that you make into a picture and then melt with the iron (note: learn from my mistakes. Don’t ever try to iron them without the ironing paper. They don’t look so pretty stuck to the iron!)

Well those beads are one thing which No.1 son will sit for ages and delicately arrange, but he sometimes gets stuck for ideas…and so do I. Hence when I came across this site, I thought I ought to share it as there are ideas for everyone here!

Pop along to the Perler website and check out their Projects section.

Perler Projects image

Reach for the stars…

kids, Reviews, safety, travel
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Ah yes. The first sniff of fine weather (a bit of sneezing and runny eyes…), and any responsible parent is reaching for the sun cream. You know how it goes – caught unawares, you root around the back of a cupboard for last years left overs and stumble upon a bingo callers collection of different factor sun cream bottles, none of which are completely empty. You kept them, thinking that they could be used next summer. Then sorting through the odds and ends you look at them and decide there’s not enough to last for a 2 week holiday and buy some more. etc. etc.

My solution? You don’t need to spend a fortune on sun cream. Just check the UVA star rating on the back. I found some 5 star- ultra (top rating) Tesco value suncream at £1.97 a bottle. It has quite a pleasant smell, and whilst the packaging won’t win any design awards, it’s definitely a winner for your bank balance. And as sun cream is alleged to lose it’s protection over time, you won’t be weeping at the end of the year when you throw the dregs away 🙂

The little charmer

kids
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I don’t know where the silver tongued little devil gets it from, but No.1 son already showing signs of being a right little Cassanova.

We were watching Saturday morning tv and an advert for face cream came on. He looked a the wrinkle free, fresh faced young things on the screen and turned to ask me ‘Mum, do you use that?’. Expecting the worst, I answered in the negative and to my surprise, was rewarded with the response, ‘You don’t need to as you are beautiful enough already’.

Kids! Aren’t they great? 😀

Wii love it

exercise, games, kids
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I’ve never been the world’s greatest games console fan, and always pondered the sanity of those people who would queue up in Tesco for many hours to secure the latest Japanese offering at some ridiculous hour.

And then I bought a Nintendo Wii.

I figured we could use some cheering up, and no.1 son had been mentioning how much fun it was at the after school club racing against his friends, so I caved in. I succumbed to the world of £40 games and wasted hours, but have to say, it’s brilliant!

It’s also my biggest negotiating tool. Whenever no.1 son is quibbling about something, the threat of no wii is just the ticket. In fact, an inkling of the threat of no wii does it. Never before has he been asking to do his homework on a Saturday morning before breakfast! Plus the fact that the name is always good for a giggle… 🙂

Zaditor

When hamsters die, do they go to Devon?

death, kids
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Some of you may have noticed I’ve been a bit quiet for a while. Some of you may remember the title quote from a Robinson’s squash advert in the 90’s. Some of you may just be reading my blog for the first time – not a good post to start with I’m afraid. I’d fully recommend you check back in a couple of weeks for something a bit more light hearted 🙁

I know it’s a cardinal sin in blogging to bleat on about not having posted for a while, but given that ‘him indoors’ died suddenly from something as innocuous as a chest infection, I’m sure you’ll forgive me this once. Please?

Even if you don’t read the rest of this (it’s more for my benefit than any of my readers really), then just finish this paragraph. If you are ever faced with this traumatic situation, there is a charity for bereaved children called Winston’s Wish which provides support and suggested reading material for young children. I hope you never need it, but then that’s what I thought…

Read the rest…

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